Still

I was in love once
but I was just a child
and he was my best friend
and we were young and I was wild (for him)
he’d do anything to see me laugh
his life was my smile
our love was pure
and innocent
my soul loved his
as though we’d met
in another time beyond this world
his touch silenced my butterflies
and I’ll never forget
his tongue inside my mouth, a tornado swirl
one forehead kiss from him could make my toes tingle, curl
today I can see the wrinkles in the corners of my eyes and mouth that started with a joke he probably told
and my heart dances with joy just knowing it was his hand I used to hold
fingers intertwined on nights when it was cold
the days
the months
the years have come and gone
marriage, kids, careers
we’ve both moved on
and I am grateful he found someone to love him like she does…
but sometimes I still hear his voice and the way he said my name
I still feel mud splashing on my face as we played football in the rain
as I sit here I still picture our spot up in the tree
and the plastic ring he gave to me when we were just 15
I still smell his blue sweater, the one I used to wear to sleep
I still see the railroad tracks where he taught me how to drive his camouflaged jeep
now I compare every man to him and no one can compete
I can still feel my fingertips running through his hair
and his head on my lap as we sat in the backroom on the little red chair
(my purple flowered underwear)
yesterday I drove past the driveway where he’d walk me home
still get flashbacks from July 4th
backseat, red Corolla on 8 Mile Road (lol)
I still miss warm summer nights stargazing on the playground at our park
and if I close my eyes long enough
I still see the bench where he carved my name inside a heart
any cool, calm breeze is still reminiscent of his whisper on my skin
and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever find a love like his again
simple and uncomplicated
it might be gone
but I still taste it
sweet just like his sweat upon my lips
love in its purest form
innocence
some might think I love him still
in a sense I guess I always will
my once in a lifetime
so long ago
and now all I have are memories to show
but I’ll find him my next time on this earth, I already know
because no matter where I go
my home is his soul…

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Author: iekika nikole

mother.writer.stenographer.and so much more.

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