disappointment

we were just having fun
rolling with the punches
so why does my heart feel out of shape —
like a fat girl doing crunches?
it’s the story of my life
I swear, I do this shit on purpose
identical scenario
you’re unavailable
I have no self-control
I fell for you and let old wounds resurface
just so I could feel something
‘cause feeling heartache is better than nothing, right?
out late last night
I paid no attention to the signs
it was dark and I couldn’t see through your lies —
but I felt them
hate these cards
even if I am the one who dealt them
just like I suspected
I woke up sober
feeling so rejected
now the morning after’s tiptoeing around
I’m stuck inside my head
I hate these thoughts
my heart’s in knots
I feel like I might drown
should I cry instead?
but it wasn’t all that serious
and really, it’s your loss
would have proven my loyalty
whatever the cost
I was in your corner
fighting hard for you
what a fuckin’ disappointment
I’m scarred because of you
I wanted it so bad
I could almost taste it
back to reality I go
it’s time for me to face it….

3:33

3:33
could it be that you’re falling for me?
you say my heart’s beating fast
your head is on my chest
I wish this moment lasts
but I know it won’t so I can’t relax…
an eye blink and it’s gone
can’t help but think, what the hell went wrong?
what could I have done differently? did our hearts not belong?
I’ve had this crush for so long that it can’t be a waste
and you looked so sincere
as you brushed my hair out of my face
thought you were catching feelings too
just like the ones I have for you
but yours were counterfeit, not true
:::::
like a dead battery my spirit needs a jump
so let down and disillusioned
in my throat there’s a million lumps
my stomach’s tied in a maze of knots
deep in my soul I know it must be my fault
you see, I’ve made mistakes
maybe it was something I did and there’s no second takes
go ahead, rip my heart out
I don’t need it anyway
give me something to write a song about
as I fill my own head with doubts
I want real love one day but today I can go without
:::::
I love to procrastinate
is it sad to say, my happily ever after can wait?
setbacks, I’ve already been through a few
what’s another time or two
as long as I’m crying over you?
you’re as worthy as they come
they can call me blind or dumb
and I won’t mind at all
I’ll be waiting right here for you to call
my persistence will never stall
it won’t start wearing thin
just whisper in my ear that you’ll be back again
that’s all I need to hear
all my uncertainties, they disappear
:::::

I promise you, I’m different

I’ve been to battle, mortal combat
so gone, didn’t think I’d ever come back
life bursting with disappointments
wasted time and pointless
open wounds still bleeding through
and I hear you’ve been there too…
people, they’re so heartless
you give your all, regardless
then drown in your own darkness
like the devil, drawing life right out of you…

but I promise you, I’m different
my love is nothing but consistent
have a little faith in our potential
my heart is pure and gentle
I can be your weakness
you can be my strength
I just want to lift each other up
it won’t be a mistake
I would never fail you
like the heartaches from your past
be the one thing you’ve always wanted
something that will last

like a slap in the face, unexpected
heart on my sleeve, so naive, and rejected
gave everything I had to the wrong one
destroyed me, devastated, made me numb
thought love conquered all, but evil almost won…
some people, they only want to use you
they think you’re a come-up, you’re so useful
just like me, I see you’ve been broken
hurt so deep, it’s in your eyes, unspoken
left you betrayed, played, even hopeless
I know exactly where you’re coming from…

but I promise you, I’m different
all I want is a bit of commitment
have a little faith in our potential
this could be something special
I just want to be your weakness
I want you to be my strength
lift each other up
believe me, it won’t be a mistake
I don’t want to beg you
and if I have to, it’s not worth it
let’s take another chance on love
you know we both deserve it